Spiritual Growth and Abandonment
DREAM: I was walking with my best friend. We were looking for a nice place to park my car. I saw a large flat field and said, oh, there’s a good place, but my best friend was no longer next to me. I saw a house and walked around to the front of the house to enter it. I was going to take off my shoes before entering the house because there was snow on the ground, and I didn't want to dirty the floor. I noticed that I was wearing only one shoe. I took off the shoe and threw it away. I asked: where is my friend? The voice said: she went away.
REFLECTION: I had a friend that I was very close to from the time I was in high school until just a few years ago. When I started having my spiritual experiences, because my experiences were of the extra-ordinary type, most of those I would confide in were disbelieving, and even attacking. Out of all my loved ones, there were only a couple people who supported me in my spiritual journey. And my friend was my most ardent supporter. I would have dreams about my friend and me growing in our spiritual lives together. We both benefited greatly from my dreams. Our Lord often gave me dreams to specifically benefit my friend. My friend had a hunger to grow; and treasured my dreams almost as much as I did. As often as I had dreams about the two of us, though, there would be dreams interspersed that showed me alone in a house that was totally bare of any furnishings; or I would see a clothes rack and I would be throwing out all the clothes until there were none left; or walking on a journey by myself with no one at my side. I always thought of these kinds of dreams as an offer and a warning. OFFER: Total abandonment; WARNING: With total abandonment, there is also much sacrifice. It got to the point that the challenges our Lord was giving me, were not challenges my friend wanted to accept. I chose total abandonment, no half-measures, even though it meant I had to continue the journey by myself (I kicked off the second shoe to go barefoot into the house without my friend.)