My Dearest Leeney,Surely you know that I love you as I love myself. I love your children as my own children. That is the bond we hold. To me, a bond of love that is even stronger than the bond of blood with my sisters.Something you said yesterday really struck my heart. You said that you are being punished for being prideful over how well Ward is doing. I want to say again, God does not work that way. What you are feeling is self-condemnation, not our Lord’s condemnation. Self-examination is good, and the truth can really hurt our hearts. Eventually, you will understand that it is truly a grace that you had that hint of self-reflection before this devastating news of Ward’s marriage. Our Lord is calling both you and Ward to turn to him and allow him to heal your hearts. You have mentioned how your little Alex experiences the mystical — experiences that the simple natural world cannot fully explain. You, too, as well as sweet Ward, are being called to go to our Lord for comfort, which is a mystical experience.We do not know what the future holds. The pain and sorrow you are now experiencing is so new and fresh that you probably cannot think to the future anyway. I have been there, Leeney, many times. I know the depths of misery you and Ward are experiencing in the core of your souls. There is a way out of the darkness back into the light. It is not magical, and it does not happen over-night. In fact, it is not even an easy journey. But it is truly a journey to healing and strength.The best thing you can do is pour your heart out to God. If you are not used that, it may be difficult to start. You may not even know what you want to say. There are prayers that are already put into words to help us pray until we can put our own personal prayers to words. Just recently our Lord asked me to start sharing my experiences more publicly. I am not certain how to go about that, but I did start a website. A little fledgling website that I do not really expect to go anywhere. Right at this moment, I feel like my little website is just for you and Ward and I am so grateful that maybe it can be of help to you. I have written out prayers that are my favorite prayers. I hope you each will take some time and look the site over. Some of the prayers are Catholic prayers, but many of them are universal prayers. See if any of them hit your hearts. There is also a link for daily Bible readings if that works for you. My website is www.grow747.com.Leeney, your and Ward’s journeys are you own, but I am here for you in whatever capacity you want. Never hesitate to call me. I love your family so deeply.With the love of Christ, for you, in my heart,Your Annie